For most of my life I struggled with being an introvert. I didn’t even know there was a name for someone like me.
Maybe you’ll relate?
I didn’t fit in well at school or in large groups, I wasn’t the life of the party more the wallflower type, I was often criticized that I daydreamed too much, was too shy for my own good, I could stand up in front of others without freezing and freaking out.
Often asked “How are you to succeed in life?”
I began to believe I couldn’t, that I must be broken, damaged goods. Every time I saw an example of an extrovert who was more out going, receive recognition, get more clients, become popular, I felt low, discouraged and at times defeated.
Why couldn’t I use social media like them? Put myself out there for all the world to see? How was I going to be a successful healer if I didn’t do it too?
Whenever I thought, or at times tried it their way, it felt icky. I wondered was this because I lacked confidence, was I too insecure?
I thought the only way forward, to being a successful healer I had to mimic the extrovert which I tried doing on and off for years but failed. I bet you can imagine how this effected me, Every fallback to my “old” ways added a layer of shame, failure to an already fragile personality. It became exhausting. That at times I just gave up, convinced myself I wasn’t good at this self-employed thing.
But the pull was strong, so much so that I couldn’t ignore it anymore. My Soul was calling me to do what I came here to do.
But how I thought, if can’t mold myself into an extrovert there must be another way.
So I began searching for answers. I found them.
I am grateful for the struggle because it was a big contributing factor and what motivated my exploration of the healing arts in the first place. The irony is it was the beauty of my so called Shadow Parts, my quest to “fix” me that helped me discover my healer gifts, which finally helped me began to truly ‘accept’ me for me. That’s when the real healing and shifts began to happen.
When I first read an introvert list of traits, I was like “YES” this is me. Immediately I no longer felt alone, broken. I might still be seen as a daydreamer, quiet, fringe, woo woo, weird but I’m totally OK with that. These are my super powers, being a good listener, being sensitive to other’s feelings, being bothered by injustices and unfairness in the world. My compassion, and love of helping people are what inspire me to do what I do.
Introvert check list from Susan Cain’s book
- I prefer one-on-one conversations to group activities
- I often prefer to express myself in writing
- I enjoy solitude
- I seem to care less than my peers about wealth, fame, and status
- I Dislike small talk, but I enjoy talking in depth about topics that matter to me.
- People tell me I’m a good listener
- I’m not a big risk taker.
- I enjoy work that allows me to dive in with fewer interruptions
- I like to celebrate birthdays on a small scale, with only one or two close friends or family members.
- people describe me as soft spoken or mellow.
- I prefer not to show or discuss my work with others until it’s finished.
- I dislike conflict
- I do my best work on my own
- I tend to think before I speak
- I feel drained after being out and about, even if I’ve enjoyed myself
- I often let calls go through to voicemail
- if I had to choose, I prefer a weekend with absolutely nothing to do to one with too many things scheduled.
- I don’t enjoy multitasking.
- I can concentrate easily.
- in classroom setting situations, I prefer lectures to seminars.
Reading Susan Cain’s book again has helped me deepen my acceptance and appreciation of being an introvert even more.
It has helped me know when to self care, and expand myself outside my comfort zone, what’s different now is I see my comfort zone more like boundaries rather than limits.
The information, and research she shares in her book is so very fascinating, plus it has solidified my belief that our introvert gifts, and skills are precious. We are an important part of society and I strongly believe that we have so much to contribute to this world.
I no longer want to suppress, hide or waste these talents.
If you are like me, and identify with a good number of traits from the list above I totally recommend her book.
We should no longer stay quiet about being quiet!
I’d love to hear from you and if you need support from me on your healing journey I would love to help you.