Want to Change your Debilitating Emotional Patterns? Try the P.A.L.M. Method

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The P.A.L.M. Method is an Emotional Intelligence (E.Q.) tool that helps us shift, manage and change our debilitating emotional patterns.

We all know the disempowering emotions that we experience in our life. That could be anger, sadness, anxiety, depression.

This E.Q. technique develops your self-awareness so you can take steps to understand your emotional patterns.

Once you begin to recognize these patterns, you can take control by choosing the appropriate emotion you want.

How it works.

First Step:
We can use this method to recognize our debilitating emotional patterns.

When you are experiencing a certain emotion, take a moment to stop and notice. Let’s use “Sad” as our emotion.

  • P (Physical): How is your physical body reacting, what’s your posture like when you feel sad. Perhaps your shoulders slouched, head hanging forward.
  • A (Attention): Where are your thoughts going? What are you focusing on? Is your mind thinking about the past or the future? What you could have said, what you didn’t say?
  • L (Language): What kind of language are you using? What are you saying to people or yourself? Do you often say how you feel, “I’m sad,” reinforcing this disempowering emotion?
  • M (Meaning): What kind of meaning or belief are you creating about yourself, others, or the world when you feel sad?

Next Step:

We use this method to change and re-pattern your debilitating emotions into more empowering ones.

Let’s choose a positive emotion now. Let’s use “Happiness”.

  • P.”Physical): How would your body posture look when you feel happy? Perhaps your shoulders are down, your heart is more open, and you smile. So, if you’re feeling sad, try engaging in it and changing your posture to a happy one, even if you need to fake it first. This will change your feelings, moving you from feeling sad to glad. Another thing to try is to go and do something physical, like going for a walk or exercise. It’s breaking that pattern.
  • A (Attention): So, if you are focusing on the past? What you could have said, what you didn’t say? Now you want to redirect your attention to what’s happening right now. What you are grateful for, or it could mean you might call a friend, go outside and change your visual attention.
  • L (Language): So instead of saying, “I’m sad,” change your language to “How would I feel if I was happy.” Use happy words throughout your day. You’re not trying to force a positive emotion to squish down the present one. It’s more like a transition from one to the other. It may happen quickly or take a few hours or days. Focusing on the process of recalling the happy emotion is what begins the shift. Remind yourself that this feeling is only temporary, and things will shift. Take about things you like, positive things, and recall what you are grateful for.
  • M (Meaning): Find meaning in small actions like making a “pick-me-up tea.” What meaning is created when you chat with your friend? When you feel happy, remind yourself of the beliefs you have about yourself, people, and the world. What’s your outlook on life like? By taking steps to change your emotional state, you begin to create new meanings.

Now you don’t have to do all of this every time. I am a strong believer that small steps make big changes.

I suggest trying just one of the letters, P.A.L.M. It can still make a huge difference. Start with perhaps the P and see how it changes things, and go from there.

Remember, you are in control and have power in every situation. So work at a pace that is best for you.

I hope you enjoy it. Please share this with anyone you feel might need it.

Thanks for listening.

Blessings to you all,
Jennifer