What healing really comes down to
As you know my passion is helping clients get unstuck.
That feeling of being stuck can have many reasons and sources.
Maybe the reason you feel stuck is you keep attracting the same negative situations and people. Can’t seem to break free from the vicious cycle repeating itself.
It happens so often that you believe that the another similar person, situation or issue will happen again. The fear of it keeps you feeling trapped.
Whatever it’s sources it can lock us in fear.
Yesterday I sat in circle with the Goddess to write my letter to her which I will be reading out during my initiation to the Wiccan path next weekend.
The main massage that came through my writings was healing all comes down to same thing – LOVE. But it’s often the source of our issues. We all want it more than anything, right, but the problems come because we’ll do anything to get it.
The Goddess whispered SELF-LOVE is the solution. Finding or recovering your authentic self.
Oh shit!
Do all my issues and challenges stemmed from my inability to love myself unconditionally – some where along the way I couldn’t be myself?
I sat and reflected on all the hurtful people, events and scenarios I experienced, and realized if I had loved me more – was strong and confident in who I was and not afraid to be myself around others rather than being who I thought I should be to make them happy – perhaps I wouldn’t have experienced being hurt so much. I would have stood up for myself, said “no” more often, and did what I really wanted without caring what others thought.
If I felt worthy and respected my own needs, not afraid of being rejected and abandoned and betrayed I probably would never have let myself do some of the things I did or let certain people treat me in hurtful ways.
As a result it was these events that damaged my self-worth even more, proving to me over and over again, that there must be something wrong with me. I started to believe I was unlovable whenever I was authentic myself.
Looking back now I wonder why I never look inside for a root cause to why I kept attracting the same scenarios. I ended up learning and believing that the cause was outside myself, and looked for validation and self-worth from others. It became the norm to blame others – to say to myself “oh they are just jealous, unhappy, and angry, it is what it is” down playing my feelings of sadness and anger. This turned me into a quiet (happy on the outside always smiling) victim – still afraid to express I was unhappy when I got hurt. So the world kept happening to me – so I never considered to look for an answer and solution within myself.
For years I did search for answer to why I kept meeting the same jealous women, being back-stabbed by my so called friends, men dumped me without good cause. I thought being a pleasant, agreeable, kind and nice person was the solution. Until it became easier to be alone and hide from the world – it was easier and safer – so much less work.
I think I ended up exhausted because I was always trying to be someone else to please everybody. A fear stopped me from being just me – to be happy in my own skin and let my own light shine – I often mirrored other people’s energy to fit in, to be accepted and liked.
Giving in to everyone else’s demands and needs, my goals and dreams disappeared.
No wonder I retreated from the world.
Now I see where my healing journey was really taking me. I had to realize I needed to love and accept me – as I am – to put me first. Healing was not only about resolving my issues – the issues were only be a symptom of the root cause.
What I needed to find wasn’t only the cause but the root solution.
I see it more clearly – my Soul was guiding me to discover how to heal – by truly accepting myself, to love myself unconditionally.
There’s nothing more important than this – this is the end goal – this is what healing really comes down to. Yes, I needed to work through my wounds, pain and hurt to come to a place where no matter what – issues healed or not – I am happy with who I am, where I am and where I am heading.
Self-love is about not believing the voices (inside and out) telling us that we need to be fixed, or we need this thing or other to be happy and feel better. Nothing on the outside can change things for us, give us what we really desire, or bring us joy – that’s the lie where told – they want us to feel the lack – to feel empty – to control us. Keep us down, weak, and scared.
Once we accept ourselves unconditionally. Allow of inner light to shine bright. Nothing or no one can make us feel less, doubt ourselves, do things we don’t want to do. We’ll be free – no one can have power over us – this is true freedom.
Here are a few articles that I think could be helpful
https://www.betterup.com/blog/self-love
